As you can tell from the title of this blog post, I’m not a football fan. And how appropriate it is that the one football team business card that I have is for the team that had the worst record for 2020-21 season.

It’s a cool business card with the Jacksonville Jaguars helmet being the only bit of flair to it, so it stands out. And I have nothing against the Jaguars personally, but it’s the only card I’ve got related to a NFL team and I just dislike football.

I really can’t enjoy watching a game because it feels like there’s a commercial break every couple of plays and it totally takes me out of it. And I don’t see the huge appeal of it any more than other team sports.

Basketball is faster paced, hockey is hard hitting and baseball has a more well-paced game-to-commercial ratio. I see them all on equal levels of appeal and I just don’t understand why football is seen as so much better to the point where the Super Bowl is the highest rated event of the year.

I understand that the Super Bowl is the only team sport where the championship is determined in one game instead of a series of 7. Which is probably why so many people tune into it and in turn, so many advertisers pay millions for commercials to hit that audience.

I’ve seen some really good and really bad Super Bowl commercials over the years. But I can’t remember any distinctively outside of a few automotive ones because I’m forced to write about them for work and I’m not allowed to use “Super Bowl” because of copyright issues. I’m not a company, so I’ll write about it anyway I desire.

But the thing I remember the most about the Super Bowl are the parties I’ve gone to. Whether it’s spending time with family as a kid or trying to break out of my introverted shell as an adult, there have been some fun and not-as-fun times around the big game.

Here are a few highlights from the Super Bowl in my life:

• Watching it at home and at my godfather’s house as a boy, though I don’t have any vivid memories of it.
• Going to a friend of my ex-wife’s house where I felt completely uncomfortable since I didn’t know anybody and everyone was just enamored with the game
• Hosting a party for our Meetup group and the house being overfilled with adults upstairs and children downstairs (where I acted like a daycare worker)
• Many joyous days of skipping the Super Bowl altogether and just doing my own thing

Business Card Count: 41,961

The coronavirus pandemic has changed pretty well everything about our lives. One experience I took for granted is meeting the mall Santa Claus since I haven’t done that in such a long time.

But it’s a staple of many families’ Christmas traditions. However, that experience has also been altered because of COVID-19. I recently went to a local mall and found this business card for Cherry Hill Programs who coordinates the mall Santa for that location.

Cherry Hill Programs (as they should) has guidelines specifically citing their inspiration from the CDC’s. The big one is that nobody got to sit on Santa’s lap this year, but they can still talk to jolly old St. Nick while staying 6 feet apart or being separated by a plastic barrier.

They also “highly encouraged” people to reserve their time with Santa. So I guess they’re going the restaurant route, though face coverings were only required for everyone 2 & older. I guess babies can’t catch the ‘rona.

I’m curious if Santa was wearing a mask also. After all, he wouldn’t want to spread COVID to Mrs. Claus and the elves. I doubt the elves can work from home building toys since they’re considered essential.

I have memories of sitting on Santa’s lap at my local mall and who knows if that will ever be a thing again. And that’s a little depressing to hear.

But I also have memories of going to my great-grandmother’s house with all of my mom’s side of the family on Christmas Eve and Santa would appear! It was really an uncle named Murray in the costume, though I’m not exactly sure how he was related to me.

I’ve also donned the Santa Claus moniker a few times when I got older for my family, though there were no young kids in on the act. So, I got to be a little more PG-13 with my humor as Santa.

I did it once as well the first year I met my kids, though they knew it was me. What’s even funnier is that there was no beard in our costume, so I wore the hair as a beard as bootleg Santa.

When I backyard wrestled back in the day, one of my personas was named Evil Santa who wore shorts with the white furry fringe, a sadistic looking mask and carried a sack full of weapons to the lawn… I mean ring.

My kids still believe in Santa, which is nice. We also started a new tradition a couple of years back with The Elf on the Shelf and he’s been the boss of keeping the kids in check. I love putting him in the most fun spots and situations, like in the arms of the dancing Santa I inherited from my grandma.

Business Card Count: 41,915

My significant other loves to declutter our home. And I’ll admit that I’ve had to be dragged along a bit before becoming fully onboard on the “less is more” mentality.

But definitely less so now. Because of this new way of thinking, I’ve given up a lot of things that I wouldn’t have expected to including:

• All of action figures
• My dining set
• Old books & video games I’ve had for years
• Old mementos I forgot I even had
• Clothes I don’t wear anymore because I’ve lost weight

Most of the above items I decided to donate and when I make donations, I always give to the Salvation Army. It’s because of something that happened about 100 years ago.

You see, my great grandparents and my very young grandma were living their lives when a fire started. They were trapped upstairs and had to escape through a small window.

My great grandparents literally threw my toddler grandma out the window to people below to catch her and then them in order to survive. Unfortunately, they lost everything in the fire which is something I can’t even imagine going through.

Thankfully, the Salvation Army stepped in and gave them what they needed for them to get back onto their feet. When my mother told me that story a few years back, it really made me think that I wouldn’t exist if they didn’t make it out of that fire.

I could have had a much harder life if the Salvation Army didn’t help out my family, especially as it was at the time of the Great Depression. I think of the systemic poverty I could have been a victim of and I can’t imagine having to overcome that to become successful like I am today.

That’s why I proudly donate to the Salvation Army whenever we do decluttering, even though the last time I had to drive to 2 donation centers because the first wouldn’t accept furniture. Over the years, we’ve given away so much that we don’t use or don’t bring us joy.

And some of it is, as the business card says, bric-a-brac. Bric-a-brac apparently means “miscellaneous objects and ornaments of little value” and that’s surely the case of anything that is only taking up space in our home.

Business Card Count: 41,893

My last blog post talked about adopting a beautiful dog named Winnie, who has become a part of our family already, from Lost Paws Animal Rescue. This post will talk about a dog we almost adopted.

Her name is Hope and we fell in love the instant we saw the picture on the Petfinder of Bonnie’s Animal Rescue Kingdom. Or as they call themselves BARK… a clever acronym, right?

We applied to adopt Hope and were told that Bonnie’s Animal Rescue Kingdom would be a part of a dog adoption event at car dealership Liberty Subaru up north in Emerson NJ. And it was a nice day for a drive and we had to take every member of the family up to meet Hope.

This included the kids and Levi. It was a long drive and the adoption event was packed with a HUGE line. That’s because Bonnie’s Animal Rescue Kingdom had 12 beagle puppies up for adoption and everybody wanted to meet them.

They made our hearts melt since they were so cute, but we were there for Hope. We didn’t want the experience of raising a puppy again and Hope is a 3-year-old beagle.

She was described by Bonnie’s Animal Rescue Kingdom as:

• Housebroken
• Sweet
• Calm
• Loving
• Laid back
• Loves to snuggle & play with squeaky toys
• Enjoys going on walks
• Getting her chest & behind her ears rubbed as being her favorite thing
• A snorer
• Knowing basic commands like sit, stay, come, leave it, lay down & go potty

We felt she was the one for us because of that description & being told that she loves her humans including kids & needs to be in a home with another dog. I was optimistic, even though other people had applied to adopt her.

The 5 of us waited an hour to meet Hope, who was kind of shy. I got to rub her behind the ears, but I think she was overwhelmed by the whole event (as were other dogs up for adoption including one named Grayson who vomited) since there were so many people there all day long.

The big highlight was when Hope’s foster mom came because she squealed in excitement & jumped all over her. That showed us that she appreciated love and will give lots of it to her humans.

We answered questions, some of them very personal, from Bonnie who owns the animal rescue. We wound up not getting Hope, which was quite disappointing especially since the kids were asking about her and we had to explain that we did nothing wrong to not get her.

I hope that she loves her forever home and I’m glad it worked out this way in the end since I love Winnie so much. For the whole process of waiting an hour for a 5ish-minute meeting with a dog who seemed over the event in Hope, it was not worth the trouble and I think a 1-on-1 meeting is a much better way to get to know a pup.

Business Card Count: 41,792

I’ve always wanted an authentic Philly cheesesteak and remembered that there were 2 particular places that were known as the best: Pat’s King of Steaks and Geno’s Steaks.

They’re right across the street from one another and the streets in this part of Philadelphia are really narrow. I chose Pat’s over Geno’s because they were the first and the fact that the line was shorter.

Pat’s King of Steaks had a large plaque dedicated on how to order. I wound up ordering one for myself & one for my significant other.

Steak, American cheese, onions and peppers to be precise and it was pretty glorious. Although I did ask if the peppers included jalapenos and they said no… but there were jalapenos in there.

And they cost only $453.12. That’s not a typo since I messed up as I was pulling over to take off my coat when I got warm. Turns out I somehow snagged my 3rd-row window onto a tree branch (or something else) and it shattered.

Safelite Fixed My Window at Home

I tried the whole plastic bag treatment as a temporary fix as I drove home from Philadelphia to no avail. I did not use the right type of tape since I didn’t want my car’s paint to come off from using duct tape.

When I got home, I made an appointment with Safelite Auto Glass whose closest location to my home is East Brunswick NJ. They charged me some extra money, but they were able to come to me for the fix.

My Safelite technician’s name was Juan Velez and he had another guy with him to assist. They were pretty quick and got the job done right, which isn’t shocking since I used them for a windshield replacement years ago.

It did cost a pretty penny to get done for some stupid mistake on my part. The price for good food.

Business Card Count: 41,735

Politics is a world I’ve never really held too much interest in, until Donald Trump became President. But I’ve seen some political-related business cards in my collecting time.

The one I find the most fun is the one for Thomas L Bradley, who ran as a write-in candidate for the Kidder Township Supervisor back in 2017. That’s because of the case of a business card working, as evident by the fact that he’s now the Chairman on the Kidder Township PA’s board of supervisors in 2020.

Unfortunately, there’s no way for a write-in candidate to become President of the United States. Though I did some research that there were 10 faithless electors in the electoral college including 3 votes for Colin Powell, 1 vote for Bernie Sanders, 1 vote for Ron Paul, 1 vote for John Kasich & 1 vote for Faith Spotted Eagle. Yes, that’s real.

I know that Donald Trump’s presidency has sparked a lot of vocal opinions on social media, from his brash words & social media posts on so many topics to his treatment of the things plaguing 2020 like COVID-19 & the Black Lives Matter movement.

It’s been deplorable to say the very least and now he’s vying against Joe Biden to determine the next president. Biden isn’t a great candidate either, which makes it sad that our 2-party system makes it feel like we’re settling on a president.

I watched the debates and saw how candidates didn’t answer questions, outright lied and resorted to attacking their opponents. I live in a blue state that’s always swaying that way, so my vote for president doesn’t count since we always get the electoral votes (unless there’s a faithless elector).

This upcoming presidential election is so pivotal and no matter what the outcome will be, people will be vocally unhappy with the outcome. And the political situation has caused me to reduce my time on social media because it’s the biggest thing everyone talks about.

Maybe if Trump loses, things will change. Or maybe the politicians will be more outspoken going forward. I’m anticipating the outcome to see what happens for the next 4 years.

Business Card Count: 41,725

Being able to find workout equipment for the house has been an impossible task. My significant other gave me a $250 gift card for Dick’s Sporting Goods for Father’s Day and it’s months later when I’ve finally found what I was looking for myself: a set of adjustable dumbbells.

I finally found a Dick’s Sporting Goods within 100 miles of my house in Willow Grove PA that had a set of Bowflex SelectTech 552 dumbbells. These adjustable dumbbells are the type that you just turn 2 dials while it’s racked on its stand and they offer a total of 15 different weight settings ranging from 5 to 52.5 lbs per dumbbell.

To be blunt, I’m in love with this Bowflex product. It’s enhanced my at-home workouts so much since I only had tiny dumbbells used for yoga (2, 4, 6 & 8 lbs) and a 15-lb set I was able to find in a Dick’s near me that did the trick until I got these dumbbells.

I don’t think I’ll ever go back to Willow Grove, Pennsylvania again so I wanted to get a few business cards. And destiny called my name since the Dick’s Sporting Goods was right next to the Willow Grove Park Mall.

My First Mall Trip Since the Pandemic

Not that I’m a huge mall person outside of walking around exploring and getting business cards, but I was excited and curious to see what was in store at the Willow Grove Park Mall. That’s because I wanted to see how the mall experience was different due to the coronavirus.

It was quite different to say the very least, although there were still a lot of people in the mall itself. There were only a couple of people not wearing their masks at all or improperly (nose not covered), but many stuck to the proper mask etiquette and social distancing (when possible).

Some of the busier stores had a roped-off queue line going outside of it, while others would have someone standing outside to ensure a limited number of people go in. A few even weren’t open past their entrance, while others weren’t open at all.

The Willow Grove Park Mall has 3 floors with:

• The usual department stores (though Sears was pretty empty with stock & people)
• Some of the usual chain stores (Hot Topic, Victoria’s Secret, etc.)
• The food court with the usual chain restaurants
• The small business-like kiosks
• Restaurants like TGI Fridays & The Cheesecake Factory

The Willow Grove Park Mall & my road trip to Dick’s Sporting Goods was quite the adventure.

Business Card Count: 41,650

During this pandemic, I’ve been running more. As a result, I’ll occasionally run into a business card to add to my collection like this one for Karen Marino of Smart Shopper Advertising.

I’ve also been spending more time online and been finding articles that populate Reddit stories. And the most common thing I see are people being called a Karen, which is seemingly a Reddit-appropriate replacement term for a bitch.

This blog post has nothing to do with Karen Marino as a person or work that she does at Smart Shopper Advertising, but the fact that the “Hello. I’m Karen.” greeting that takes up half the business card is hilarious to me because nobody admits to be “being a Karen.”

Yet here we are. How did Karen become such a toxic name online? I dated a girl named Karen for a little while back when I was about to go to college and she was quite a nice person, although she broke it off with me.

What is a Karen?

Well, every place on the Internet has a different definition of what a Karen is. I think Wikipedia puts it best as “a woman perceived to be entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is considered appropriate or necessary.” And such an example of said entitlement would be asking to speak to a manager to get something for free.

Because of all of the circumstances of 2020, a couple of more commonly seen interpretations of a Karen include someone who refuses to want to wear a mask in public and someone who displays overt racism. Both of these have been seen thanks to cell phone cam footage.

Other definitions of a Karen include:

• Know Your Meme: “generally characterized as an irritating, entitled woman, sometimes as an ex-wife who took custody of ‘the kids.’”
• Newsweek: “annoying entitled, suburban woman who would not hesitate to ask to speak to a manager if the salesperson at Anne Taylor refuses to take their return three months after the return date expired.”
• New York Times: “the policewomen of all human behavior.”
• The Atlantic: “a shorthand to call out a vocal minority of middle-aged white women who are opposed to social distancing, out of either ignorance or ruthless self-interest.”
• Urban Dictionary: “Karens take everything wrong with the typical over entitled western woman and crank it up by several thousand percent.”
• Vox: “The archetypal Karen is blonde, has multiple young kids, and is usually an anti-vaxxer. Karen has a ‘can I speak to the manager’ haircut and a controlling, superior attitude to go along with it.”

The typical Karen is seen as a middle-aged woman, though I’m sure it’s referenced younger & elderly women. And as for a male Karen equivalent? There is no official one for whatever reason.

Business Card Count: 41,520

For the past couple of months, the coronavirus has consumed us all in one form or another. COVID-19 has become the news item that’s the biggest thing since 9/11, if not bigger. (Note: this was written before George Floyd & the protests)

I’ve seen how society has changed with the advent of face masks and social distancing & stay at home becoming the top phrases in mind. TV season finales are not the ones planned. Schools are doing remote learning, which I’ve taken extensive part in.

And it’s even seeped into business cards, as is the case with a company local to me called Tristate Cleaning and Maintenance. I’ve never seen any of their previous marketing, but this card looks to be very coronavirus oriented.

The logo used is literally a cell, something that looks like it would be a stock photo you’d find when searching for COVID-19. Not to mention the first primary thing Tristate Cleaning and Maintenance says it does is COVID-19 disinfecting services, which shows the present (and possible future) impact that this disease & pandemic has had.

I have been feeling them with everything being closed and how everything now has to be disinfected nowadays. I have been seeing more hand sanitizer in stores, but cleaning products are in short supply unless you order them online.

Living in a post-coronavirus world will definitely be different since I think living a more clean (or even compulsively clean) lifestyle will be the new norm. It’ll definitely be a case where people will opt to social distance with strangers since you never know where someone has been & who they’ve been with.

Like the Japanese, I think we will see more people choosing to wear face masks to prevent disease even when this whole pandemic is over and we can resume life as it once was. I also think the plastic partitions at stores will stay up for peace of mind.

In terms of travel, the coronavirus caused a cruise that I was going to take with my significant other & kids to be canceled. We were supposed to go to the Dominican Republic, Turks & Caicos and the Bahamas, so I was very upset when this inevitability occurred.

I know cruise ships are like petri dishes and sickness waiting to happen, so I’m sure there will be masks galore when we go on our makeup cruise down the line. The same will go for any airplane travel… I know I’ll use a mask of some sort since I always get sick after a flight due to the close proximity to strangers.

I was also supposed to go to my niece’s communion in the first weekend of May, but that got canceled. It was in Florida, which is opening up at a faster rate than my home state of New Jersey where it’s more of a hotbed for cases. It’s supposed to be slated for September, but we’ll see how things go as time progresses.

My gym has also been closed, so I’ve been using the Peloton app to work out at home. I’ve also been running most mornings (it’s hard when you have kids who have to be fed breakfast & then do remote learning with them) to help lose a bit of weight I’ve put on over the past 3 years since my divorce was finalized.

So I might just opt out of a gym membership to work out at home going forward, but I’ve been finding that weight sets are really expensive and I don’t think making the basement into a makeshift home gym would be appreciated.

I went way off the rails with my initial idea of Tristate Cleaning & Maintenance putting COVID-19 front and center on their business card, but it’s all related. And it’s because the coronavirus has affected the whole world and will continue to do so even when it dies down in my opinion with its aftereffects.

Business Card Count: 41,494

Because the coronavirus has really deterred me from going out a lot, the weekly amount of business cards I’ve collected has trickled to the single digits at some points. Luckily, my mother comes through with a package of goodies that she got for me prior to everything closing down.

Surprisingly, there were very few duplicates and adds to my Clearwater business card contingent. And also my “celebrity” business card contingent since one of them is for Michael Scott adding to those including David Letterman and Jordan Knight.

No, of course not the Michael Scott from The Office. He’s actually a dentist who shares the same name (I’m sure he hears that a lot) who works at or possibly runs Clearwater Family Dental. Which reminds me: I need to go to the dentist after this whole COVID-19 business goes away since it’s been a while since I’ve been to one.

In a weird twist of fate, I was introduced to The Office by my ex-wife and the first season I watched along with her was the one AFTER Steve Carell (who played Michael Scott) left the show. The show is one of those that I have to be in the mood for.

I understand why it’s funny and popular, but I can never really get into it since I don’t know the characters and I feel like I got in on it too far in. It’s different than Grey’s Anatomy that I had the same experience with (getting into it midstream) since there’s a lot more character development to be done over an hour vs 30 minutes.

And I’m done with my ramble for this week.

Business Card Count: 41,480